Monday, December 28, 2009

Jesse [jes-se]

--noun (pl. Jesses)
1. Someone--typically male--who invents popcorn subs at The Subway six days per week, 52 weeks per year. Jesses may or may not smoke cigarettes and be good listeners.
2. A friend.
3. An arch-nemesis or lover of a Noah, or a Noah-Bitch.

--verb (intransitive)
1. To invent a popcorn sub: For years, I Jessed in isolation
2. To defeat a Flying Demon: In 1862, a Thai Noah found himself unable to Jesse.

--verb (transitive)
1. To mock a Sivens: Guys, quit Jesseing me!

1. To be an expert at making sandwiches for The Subway. *See The Subway.


Matt [matt]

--noun (pl. Matts)
1. A man or boy who steals alcohol and/or homework from people. He may or may not be drunk at the time of theft: Help! A Matt stole this boy's homework!
2. A philosophy scholar.
3. A relationships scholar.
4. A good friend of Papas. Papas and Matts may or may not have the same mother, depending on the schematics of Dad-History for the Papa/Matt complex in question.

--verb (intransitive)
1. To drink alcohol: have you been Matting?
2. To smoke smoke cigarettes.
2. To study philosophy: have you been Matting?
3. To study relationships.
4. To study the philosophy of relationships.

--verb (transitive)
1. To befriend a Papa: Papa, I am not Matting with you.
2. To be hostile toward a Sivens. *See Sivens.

1. To be drunk: are you Matt? Look at me. Are you?
2. To be belligerent.


Dad-History [dad-his-tory]

--noun (pl. Dads)
1. The totality of fathers who have disappointed a particular man or boy. In rare cases, the subject of a Dad-History may occur as a girl. Such cases are to be forgotten immediately upon inception. *See father.
2. The essential link between a Matt and Papa, or a Noah and Jesse. Without a Dad-History, either pair will find itself extremely vulnerable to a Noah's Mom (Aunt Mara) attack. *See Aunt Mara.


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