Monday, June 22, 2009

My Life Is Terrible 2, an ebook

3:19 AM 

David: hey


me: hey


David: how's nyc?

3:22 AM 

me: amazing


how's home


how was hong kong


David: boring and awesome


how is the internship?

3:25 AM 

me: awesome, i love everything i'm doing


i'm in a cafe in the west village right now


this is so cool


do you think you'll be able to come up here?


David: ha badass

3:26 AM 

yeah i think so. when would be a good time?


me: whenever

3:27 AM 


David: alright then i'll start looking up tickets. i don't have a job and do nothing everyday. btw guess what i found out eariler?

3:28 AM 

me: what?


 David: i'm transferring to emory


me: what holy shit


that's awesome




David: yeah, i literally didn't give it a second thought. i noly applied because my parents forced me to

3:29 AM 

me: whoa that's so cool


maybe your parents fixed it so you'd get in


maybe to make up for all of the years of abusing you

3:30 AM 

David: that would actually be awesome and might even redeem their poor parenting


me: it would for me

3:31 AM 

i'm at a cafe and there is a crazy person who keeps talking to himself, he is bald and really fat with fat rolls in the back of his head


now he's talking about his invented girlfriend


that's so awesome though



3:32 AM 

did you do really well in college?


David: man now that's awesome, can't get that anywhere else


me: you should come here as soon as you can

3:33 AM 

David: no, which is the really weird part. i have the exact same gpa as i did in high school, which is a 3.1


me: he just called me tom brady


that's literally a crazy thing to happen


even though a 3.1 is better in college than in high school right


David: you should take that cas a compliment


me: i am choosing to

3:34 AM 

this is amazing, i am facing a window that looks directly out onto mcdougal street (which is bob dylan's street in the village)


you should come here as soon as you can

3:35 AM 

David: min-blowingly cool


will do, just got to clear it with parents, which should be easy considering i jus tpulled off a fucking miracle


me: hahaha i bet this was a great father's day for papa cao

3:36 AM 

xiu? right?


David: close, xu


me: even better


David: it's funny filling out forms with his name, especially when they ask for only the first initial

3:37 AM 

me: hahaha


so what'd you do in HK


David: mostly toured the city and some scenic spots

3:38 AM 

doing much of the same in ny?


me: sort of. i've mostly been eating


i'm also living with my girlfriend, which is great so far

3:39 AM 

David: damn, nice. is she from there or did the both of you move there fort he summer?


me: she just graduated from new college, but yeah, next month she's moving into her own apt though

3:40 AM 

David: niice, dating someone with a degree already. you are a god sir

3:41 AM 

me: hahaha, likewise


this bald man is now yelling "miss" at my girlfriend


now talking to himself

3:42 AM 

now talking to someone else


David: lol is he right next to you?

3:44 AM 

me: no he's in the corner opposite to mine

3:49 AM 

what've you been doing


this city is amazing

3:50 AM 

David: pretty much noting.


i bet it is. everything happens there


me: it really does


what'd you want to do here

3:52 AM 

David: i don't know. what do you recommend? i'd like to eat at some famous/good places. and i guess any good concert/events that only happen in ny?

3:54 AM 

me: yeah i haven't been to many famous/good places so we should go to them


yeah there are free concerts in the park and stuff


i saw david byrne for free in prospect park a couple of weeks ago


so we could go to those

3:55 AM 

there are free movie festivals


i'm sure we'll get to go to some parties and stuff, or at least opium magazine events


David: damn, that already sounds awesome

3:56 AM 

almost all of the flights from bham to ny require at least one stop it seems, and thet all take more than 6 hours

3:57 AM 

me: this guy just came over who works at the cafe and gave us free glass dishes

3:58 AM 

shit that sucks


well hm which airline?


laura took a jetblue flight that was really short


David: ah ok, i was looking at sw

3:59 AM 

lol free glass dishes?


that is awesome

4:00 AM 

me: yeah and then he came over and wrote our names in permanent marker on some sort of glossy paper


and wrote "NYC" on it

4:01 AM 

David: any reason for this or was he just being badass


me: up. then he asked me for 2 dollars

4:02 AM 

and i didn't know what was going on and for some reason entertained him and it turned out i had 5 dollars and then he gave me only 2 dollars in return


and now i am out three dollars and am depressed


David: hahahahahaha


that's even cooler


me: i also think the dishes are from the cafe


i think he stole them

4:03 AM 

David: hahahahah, wow he must be a really lazy criminal or just crazy

4:05 AM 

ok how does july 6 or 7 sound?

4:08 AM 

me: that sounds fine except i might have someone else coming to stay with me for a couple of days on the 7th


i don't care it's up to you with regards to sleeping arrangements

4:09 AM 

David: oh where i sleep is the last thing i care about. as long as you're ok with two extra poeple staying with you

4:11 AM 

me: nah i don't care


july 6 and 7 is fine

4:12 AM 

i hate my life


i really miss that three dollars


David: heh can 3 bucks even get anything

4:14 AM 

me: yeah


a 2.50 falafel


a cup of coffee


a bagel


a lot


David: great, now i'm hungry



4:15 AM 

me: haha i am too


but i've lost 3 dollars!


anyway i'm going to go back to my apt i think


David: hmm now i empathize with your conundrum


me: let me know about the plane details once they happen

4:16 AM 

yeah i empathize too


i hate my life


good night

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